I have committed to listening to the Daily Audio Bible Podcast in 2010(DAB). This takes about 20 - 30 mins per day and has been a delight. I have enjoyed the opportunities that this presents as I strive to embed scripture into my daily life. I highly recommend this podcast for which you can find on itunes.
Well, to the point on March 30th.
Given the long list of events that occur when you have a baby, let along a baby with a heart problem, I did not have an opportunity to listen to the podcast from March 30th... the birth date of Baby Claire.
I waited with anticipation as to the message for this day. Will it connect to my life and have a message that can be incorporated into my struggles on this day. It is hard for me to put into words the feelings I had as I thought about pushing the "Play" button on the Ipod. Would God use this as an opportunity to minister to my spirit. The uncertainty, the questions, the doubts, the strength and the weakness at the same time. I know that scripture says in Hebrews 4 that it is "living and active" but does this still apply today? Do we really gather life directions from ancient words?
I approached the scripture on this day from the perspective of a father that is in a situation in which he can not control almost any of the variables. This is fairly difficult for someone that takes pride in being independent and dependable.
On the day in which my baby girl was born, Brian from the Daily Audio Bible read through the latter portion of Luke 8. This section of scripture speaks of Jesus healing 2 people.
Luke 8:50 "Don't be afraid; only believe, and she will be made well."
Now how in the world am I am I to hear these words. What do I do with this? I am afraid. I do believe and I ask God to help my unbelief like that of the father in Luke 9. Does A + B = C? Does A-not afraid + B-belief = C-healing? We all know from life experiences that this is a difficult formula. Is this not at the heart of being human. Of not being in God's shoes. Of not being in control of our own future.
I am actually typing this in the food court at Children's with my little 6 pound girl upstairs in the NICU. Pretty difficult to channel these thoughts and emotions. I must continue to remind myself of the lesson of trust. Trust in doctors. That they will bring insight and proper judgment to handle the situation. Ultimately, trust in a good God, one that knows the very number of hairs on her tiny head. Trust in a God that knew Claire before she was woven into her mother's womb. Trust in a God that answered the suffering of humanity by entering into it in the life of Christ. Trust in a God that says: "Don't be afraid; only believe and she will be made well."
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Welcoming Baby Claire
Wanted to take a little time this morning and update all of you on the events from the past couple of days.
3/29/10
Mandi's blood pressure had been up and she was placed on homerest (good luck with a 3 year old boy). We had an appointment with Dr. Jones at 11:45 and found out that he wanted to induce Mandi that night and have everything prepared for Claire to be born on 3/30/10. This process was in steep contrast to what we experienced when Colton entered the world. We had the entire day to prepare our minds, hearts, and suitcases for the coming times. We got some lunch and tried to digest the experience. Our minds racing, trying to prioritize the to-do list and make sure that we had everything ready for our departure to Riverside Methodist Hospital.
For many months, we have had plans to have a host a planning session for NWOCYC all ages week. We did not hesitate one second to continue in these plans and were happy to have the opportunity to share our home, as well as have a community of friends pray for us as we started the process to welcome Claire into this world. Mandi and I did not get to share with these people as much as we would have liked as we were scampering around the house but did enjoy the comfort of knowing others are supporting us in the effort to heal baby Claire's heart. We left Delaware around 8:30 and got to Riverside shortly after 9:00pm.
Mandi labored through the night (just like with Colton...she's lucky) and I got to grab cat-naps in a not so comfortable recliner. Mandi did very well and baby Claire entered the world at 8:49am on 3/30/2010. We were estatic that she had good color, let out a couple of screams and did not require oxygen. The neonatologists did looked her over and greatfully said that she was doing well enough for Mandi to hold her. I was happy that Mandi had this opportunity before baby Claire headed to Nationwide Childrens Hospital. Colton got a chance to see his baby sister as well. He did ask mommy who the baby was and continued to suggest that baby Claire was still in mommy's tummy. He wanted to kiss the baby and give her a big huge, of which we had to repeat, "easy, easy, easy" but this is to be expected. We are amaazed at how similiar Colton and Claire look. It makes us simile. He is going to be a great big brother (as his shirt indicated).
This time passed quickly but I enjoyed every minute before Claire was taken to the NICU at Riverside (which they told me is actually Children's... did you get that). The cousins got a chance to see baby Claire as we walked to this new unit. Jasmine, Chloe and C.C. got a quick peak.
I guess I would title this next section "Girls Across Town." Mandi was transported to another room at Riverside while Claire was being prepped for transport to Childrens. Claire did stop by Mandi's room before taking her first trip. We were happy to see her one more time. I will be quick to say that this was a very difficult time. Mandi and I both longed to hold her in our arms.
After a little time with the family, I traveled down to Childrens to check in with the doctors and get my barrings in this new location. As expected, we arrived and found a group of specialists trying to visualize the pieces of the puzzle which define Claire's heart. After a quick glance, My mom, my sister, Robin Weier and I headed to get some lunch in the cafeteria. I did expect more than what I received in this area. For three years, Colton and I have made Sunday trips to Riverside to eat lunch with Mommy. Sometimes we eat in the cafeteria and the food is actually not that bad. Childrens... not so much. It was less than to be desired. I think I may have found a way to limit my calories and lose weight.
By this time I was super tired. I had not slept well and the emotional drain was starting to take notice. I did swing back by and check on baby Claire. By this time, I was lucky enough to get an update from 2 cardiac doctors about what they had found. I will leave the specifics for Mandi to discuss as she is more proficient in this area, but the general terms was that they were going to take Claire off of a medication (protogins) and see if her heart had adapted to its abnormality enough to sustain her until the 6 month surgery. This process will take a few days in which the doctors are monitoring her blood content and vitals closely. Time will tell if the pulmonary arteries are carring just the right amount of blood to the lungs to justify not having the surgery.
I swung back over to Riverside for some time with Mandi and Colton. Yes Colton, the Martins and Willisons have been a great help in this time by keeping track of the little guy. We appreciate their service and know that he can be exhausting. I look forward to having my family back together on Fieldcrest Dr. but am so appreciative of our family support. Colton and I had some pizza (from Riverside's cafeteria) and had some good laughs while playing together. We shared pictures and stories from the day.
Nater boy drove to Riverside and picked me up and we headed back to Childrens for a short visit with Claire. She was doing well. Still good color and resting.
Nater and I shared some good laughs and talked about life in a hospital. Wondering what it would be like to know everyone's story that you walked by. How was their heart, their relationships, their trust in the creator.
Nater dropped me off back at Riverside and I talked with Mandi and prepared for some rest. We hope that Mandi can be released today so she can join me here at Childrens.
Thanks for all of your thoughts and prayers for baby Claire.
3/29/10
Mandi's blood pressure had been up and she was placed on homerest (good luck with a 3 year old boy). We had an appointment with Dr. Jones at 11:45 and found out that he wanted to induce Mandi that night and have everything prepared for Claire to be born on 3/30/10. This process was in steep contrast to what we experienced when Colton entered the world. We had the entire day to prepare our minds, hearts, and suitcases for the coming times. We got some lunch and tried to digest the experience. Our minds racing, trying to prioritize the to-do list and make sure that we had everything ready for our departure to Riverside Methodist Hospital.
For many months, we have had plans to have a host a planning session for NWOCYC all ages week. We did not hesitate one second to continue in these plans and were happy to have the opportunity to share our home, as well as have a community of friends pray for us as we started the process to welcome Claire into this world. Mandi and I did not get to share with these people as much as we would have liked as we were scampering around the house but did enjoy the comfort of knowing others are supporting us in the effort to heal baby Claire's heart. We left Delaware around 8:30 and got to Riverside shortly after 9:00pm.
Mandi labored through the night (just like with Colton...she's lucky) and I got to grab cat-naps in a not so comfortable recliner. Mandi did very well and baby Claire entered the world at 8:49am on 3/30/2010. We were estatic that she had good color, let out a couple of screams and did not require oxygen. The neonatologists did looked her over and greatfully said that she was doing well enough for Mandi to hold her. I was happy that Mandi had this opportunity before baby Claire headed to Nationwide Childrens Hospital. Colton got a chance to see his baby sister as well. He did ask mommy who the baby was and continued to suggest that baby Claire was still in mommy's tummy. He wanted to kiss the baby and give her a big huge, of which we had to repeat, "easy, easy, easy" but this is to be expected. We are amaazed at how similiar Colton and Claire look. It makes us simile. He is going to be a great big brother (as his shirt indicated).
This time passed quickly but I enjoyed every minute before Claire was taken to the NICU at Riverside (which they told me is actually Children's... did you get that). The cousins got a chance to see baby Claire as we walked to this new unit. Jasmine, Chloe and C.C. got a quick peak.
I guess I would title this next section "Girls Across Town." Mandi was transported to another room at Riverside while Claire was being prepped for transport to Childrens. Claire did stop by Mandi's room before taking her first trip. We were happy to see her one more time. I will be quick to say that this was a very difficult time. Mandi and I both longed to hold her in our arms.
After a little time with the family, I traveled down to Childrens to check in with the doctors and get my barrings in this new location. As expected, we arrived and found a group of specialists trying to visualize the pieces of the puzzle which define Claire's heart. After a quick glance, My mom, my sister, Robin Weier and I headed to get some lunch in the cafeteria. I did expect more than what I received in this area. For three years, Colton and I have made Sunday trips to Riverside to eat lunch with Mommy. Sometimes we eat in the cafeteria and the food is actually not that bad. Childrens... not so much. It was less than to be desired. I think I may have found a way to limit my calories and lose weight.
By this time I was super tired. I had not slept well and the emotional drain was starting to take notice. I did swing back by and check on baby Claire. By this time, I was lucky enough to get an update from 2 cardiac doctors about what they had found. I will leave the specifics for Mandi to discuss as she is more proficient in this area, but the general terms was that they were going to take Claire off of a medication (protogins) and see if her heart had adapted to its abnormality enough to sustain her until the 6 month surgery. This process will take a few days in which the doctors are monitoring her blood content and vitals closely. Time will tell if the pulmonary arteries are carring just the right amount of blood to the lungs to justify not having the surgery.
I swung back over to Riverside for some time with Mandi and Colton. Yes Colton, the Martins and Willisons have been a great help in this time by keeping track of the little guy. We appreciate their service and know that he can be exhausting. I look forward to having my family back together on Fieldcrest Dr. but am so appreciative of our family support. Colton and I had some pizza (from Riverside's cafeteria) and had some good laughs while playing together. We shared pictures and stories from the day.
Nater boy drove to Riverside and picked me up and we headed back to Childrens for a short visit with Claire. She was doing well. Still good color and resting.
Nater and I shared some good laughs and talked about life in a hospital. Wondering what it would be like to know everyone's story that you walked by. How was their heart, their relationships, their trust in the creator.
Nater dropped me off back at Riverside and I talked with Mandi and prepared for some rest. We hope that Mandi can be released today so she can join me here at Childrens.
Thanks for all of your thoughts and prayers for baby Claire.
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Another Bump in the Road
It is not little Claire that is the problem now it is the incubator. My blood pressure was up at my last Ob appointment and they wanted me to do a 24 hour urine which just so happened to land while I had to work two days in a row. Luckily I work with wonderful people who are very understanding of pee being in a jug in a cooler in the bathroom. After the 24 urine, they diagnosed me with mild preeclampsia. I went to the doctor again on Tuesday and my bp was still high and was told no more work (which I was afraid might happen) and try to rest as much as possible and to monitor my bp at home and come back Friday for another Non stress test for the baby to make sure she is still moving around well. The doctor said that if the baby did not already have an other issues they would have probably delivered me this week, but as you all know that is not the case so they are doing their best to give her a couple more weeks to let her lungs mature. We are praying that my bp will stay down enough that she can get a couple more weeks of growth…..and the saga continues.
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