DAB - March 30th

I have committed to listening to the Daily Audio Bible Podcast in 2010(DAB). This takes about 20 - 30 mins per day and has been a delight. I have enjoyed the opportunities that this presents as I strive to embed scripture into my daily life. I highly recommend this podcast for which you can find on itunes.
Well, to the point on March 30th.

Given the long list of events that occur when you have a baby, let along a baby with a heart problem, I did not have an opportunity to listen to the podcast from March 30th... the birth date of Baby Claire.

I waited with anticipation as to the message for this day. Will it connect to my life and have a message that can be incorporated into my struggles on this day. It is hard for me to put into words the feelings I had as I thought about pushing the "Play" button on the Ipod. Would God use this as an opportunity to minister to my spirit. The uncertainty, the questions, the doubts, the strength and the weakness at the same time. I know that scripture says in Hebrews 4 that it is "living and active" but does this still apply today? Do we really gather life directions from ancient words?

I approached the scripture on this day from the perspective of a father that is in a situation in which he can not control almost any of the variables. This is fairly difficult for someone that takes pride in being independent and dependable.

On the day in which my baby girl was born, Brian from the Daily Audio Bible read through the latter portion of Luke 8. This section of scripture speaks of Jesus healing 2 people.

Luke 8:50 "Don't be afraid; only believe, and she will be made well."

Now how in the world am I am I to hear these words. What do I do with this? I am afraid. I do believe and I ask God to help my unbelief like that of the father in Luke 9. Does A + B = C? Does A-not afraid + B-belief = C-healing? We all know from life experiences that this is a difficult formula. Is this not at the heart of being human. Of not being in God's shoes. Of not being in control of our own future.

I am actually typing this in the food court at Children's with my little 6 pound girl upstairs in the NICU. Pretty difficult to channel these thoughts and emotions. I must continue to remind myself of the lesson of trust. Trust in doctors. That they will bring insight and proper judgment to handle the situation. Ultimately, trust in a good God, one that knows the very number of hairs on her tiny head. Trust in a God that knew Claire before she was woven into her mother's womb. Trust in a God that answered the suffering of humanity by entering into it in the life of Christ. Trust in a God that says: "Don't be afraid; only believe and she will be made well."